Discovering Leticia (My anxiety)

Distracted and derailed. Distracted and derailed,feeling the reigns slip through my hands.  And I thought you were here to stay,please stay because with you at least I am still sane. Sanity seems so foreign to me but it’s strength I am trying to regain… for so long I thought things with you will never be the same, little did I know this time was all I had and it is all I needed to save from the memories captured and put in a frame. Please i am begging you to stay, remember you are my saving grace and without you my heart is just an empty space.  You said you will never leave but I guess that was also staged. Distracted, derailed but most of all I feel betrayed by the one that got away. My anger is always misplaced.

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Chakra to the rescue After a lot of time spent on research and finding ways on how to best manage anxiety, I have gotten to learn about Chakra therapy which I have to say it has become a thing to use for anxiety relief.  What is Chakra? I know like the rest of us you are probably wondering what Chakra means but lucky for you I did the much needed reading on the topic and I will share the information here with you. Chakra is a Sanskrit word derived from the word "Cakra" which means "disk" or "wheel". It is believed to be a wheel of light or energy moving in circular motion in your body system. There are 7 different types of Chakra as you would see on the picture above and when one of them is blocked, we get the feelings of fear and anxiety.  In this post we will focus only on the Chakra that is mostly associated with anxiety and this particular one is your 5th Chakra known as the "Manipur a" or as I like to cal

Did I get ever tell you about the day Leticia and I decided that we will not go to parties as a plus one? Well let's get right to it then and I promise you are going to love it. For obvious reasons we don't normally do anything that involves large crowds and socialisng but this is not why we stopped agreeing to be anyone's plus one. Okay maybe partly. This is how it all started when a friend of mine gave me a call and for the record I hate phone calls. I know when some people think it's weird and you thought it too but they just make me uncomfortable. It was a fine day and the atmosphere was great, I am lazying around the house with a book in my hand and my earphones are plugged in. My phone rings and I try to avoid it for a while because how dare she call me? Couldn't she just text me like a normal person?. Sigh! The ringing gets annoying I eventually pick up and she says "Hi, I know you are probably busy and sorry to call you".  Damn rig

Common ground   I have come to learn that Leticia and I have something in common which is a very huge deal since we barely agree on anything, actually we never agree on anything. It is weird to know that we both love something that is good for the both of us and actually keeps us both sane, I am a music lover and so is she. Music has a way of soothing the soul and calming the brain in a way that makes you feel relaxed and happy.  When my brain goes into that "flight or fight" mode, music is known to be able to reset all of that back to what I like to call "factory settings". This is why I carry my earphones in my bag everywhere I go, my mom thinks it is for me to shut the world out which is partially true because then I can avoid human contact. But it is for me to be calm and not overthinking at all times.  Leticia's favorite is "Daddy lessons" by Beyonce, we love it because it's an upbeat tune, hard to ignore and makes you

Is it just me or does anyone else have trouble with dating when suffering from anxiety? I have had to sit it out for a while trying to figure out how to get back into the dating scene. I mean do I like anyone? Of course and am I talking to someone? Damn right I am but with Leticia you can never really go beyond that. I find myself constantly overthinking and in fear of what the person might think if they find out about Leticia. Not everything is as it looks with me because one minute we could be happy and in love but the next minute I am down and out not feeling like company or being around anyone at all. Leticia has this thing where she keeps telling me that I am not good enough for the person or he is not going to be here for too long then I get scared and hold back. Do you know how hard it is for me to go out on a date? As hard as building a rocket would be for an Accountant like me. First is the issue of dressing up, nothing ever looks good enough, secondly going out to