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Throw me a lifeline


Ever felt like your own thoughts are starting to consume you? Like your own mind is plotting against you? I know most of you have and let me tell you that you are not alone.

Often we try to put our game face on and mumble a silent “I am fine” accompanied by what it is supposed to be our million dollar smile but we are fighting internal battles that we are not winning.

I’ve recently had to sit in a room full of friends and that is a place where you’d expect me to feel loved and happy right? I am afraid not. With all this laughter and joy all around me I still feel these walls closing in and I slowly lose my breath though I am not showing, I am silently screaming for help because these thoughts inside me are fueling up emotions of self pity and loneliness.

How many times have we all just wanted someone to hold us and tell us that we are not alone and it will all get better but since everyone else is busy and honestly do not care, we just keep it in and let it eat us up.

You know those frequent moments that occur when you walk into a room and you suddenly don’t even remember what you where doing there in the first place? All the times you went to bed with a heavy heart and had to wake up with a smile to be constantly asked “how are you?”, yes those times I have been there and every time I want to scream “I am sinking here please throw me a lifeline”.

But I’ve been here too many times remember and every day my mumbled speech and million dollar smile gets better and I’ll still say “I am fine thanks and yourself?”.

And I sit there consumed by my own thoughts, reaching my hand out hoping that someone or anyone will throw me a lifeline to stop me from drowning.

If only they could read minds.

Comments

  1. UnknownJanuary 11, 2020 at 6:28 AM

    Oh man..."when you feel like you're standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of your lungs for someone to save you, yet no one can hear you"...i know that feeling oh too well

    ReplyDelete

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