UNMASKED

Mental health problem do not have a certain look, there are no physical signs that show when you suffer from it.

Most of the time before people get used to me, they assume that i am a bubbly and confident person and when they find out that i suffer from anxiety. They say things such as "I never would have thought that you have mental health problems, you look fine to me".

How am i supposed to look like? Not only is the statement ignorant but offensive as well. What do you expect from me to carry my fears around on my forehead for your convenience?.

We are not looking for pity or special treatment when we disclose our mental issues but we need you to understand that what we are going through may result in a behavior that might come of as offensive and we need you to know it is not intentional.

How many times has a friend or a loved one told you to "snap out of it" when you were having a meltdown. If it was that simple we would not need to be told to do so, we would just do it.

This is not us throwing tantrums or seeking attention but us fighting demons stronger than our minds could comprehend. Nobody chooses to walk around feeling like they are not good enough or scared of things that will never happen and are only in their heads. 

Therefore it is unfair for you to expect us to get over it or to look a certain way for you to understand that we are suffering from things bigger than ourselves.

I met a lady once doing charity work and we exchanged contacts to later get in touch. When we did get in touch, she was telling me how nice my personality is only for me to reign on her parade. I explained how I was scared and couldn't breathe half of the time. 

This discovery shocked her and she called me out thinking that it was all a lie, told her about my back story with "Leticia" and she later apologized for being to quick to judge me by my appearance.

"Things are not always what they seem" 

I have always found that sarcasm and a good sense of humor makes a great "mask" for me. I hide my own insecurities by making people laugh then they will not see how much I doubt myself.

It gets exhausting having to put up a front around people so that they do not feel uncomfortable with me while I am way out of my comfort zone myself. 

This is merely to meet people's expectations of who i am supposed to be rather than them having to deal with the shaky, scared and nervous wreck that i truly am. 

Next time you think about saying "who would've thought" to someone with mental health problems, DON'T. Avoid digging a much deeper and darker hole than the one we are already in. 

Until next time my fellow anxiety fighter's remember to breathe...